6+2

You guys.....I quit. I threw in the towel. I gave up. I text my group telling them I was done. I had gone 6 clean days and 2 cheat days. I know this sounds dramatic but honestly I have never been so tested mentally than I have this past week. I really love food and it was like someone taking away that favorite thing from you as a kid. ugh
But then I went to crossfit last night and had a rude awakening. Along with the guilt trip and peer pressure from Ben who was rooting for me....I had NO energy. I was definitely feeling those cheat days. Basically I had a pity party for myself the whole workout and then my guilt really set it. Who was I to quit. You can't just quit. You committed to this and you have a whole group counting on you. I need to stop feeling bad for myself for not being able to put all that garbage in my body. Instead I should be thanking and congratulating myself for the clean foods I am fueling my body with. It's time that I have a complete attitude change and a full commitment to this thing. I know I am a week late but it took a week of hell for me to realize that this is for real and most definitely a "challenge". I don't want to be my teams weak link. It is 3 solid weeks of clean eating. I can do that. It will be hard no doubt but I want this and truly our bodies are the most important gift we have been given. For the next few weeks I am just going to have to suck it up and be "that girl". "Excuse me sir what do you cook your meat in?" "Can I have no dressing or cheese or well anything on that salad please?"....you know "that girl".  I will say I was shocked at how badly my body craved bad food. Almost to the point of tears and feeling like I had to have it or I might die. It felt like a bad addiction that I couldn't break. You'd think I ate cheetos and doughnuts on the regular with how bad I was craving them!
 I wasn't prepared enough last week with being out of town and having the right foods available for me so that I was still getting the proper calorie intake. This has been a day by day learning experience. I think I am finally grasping what it takes. A whole lot of WILLpower. It is financially a lot harder to eat this way and all the more tempting to eat moms free dinner at home. It's also hard living with a head pastry chef who has fresh cookies on the counter and dough in the freezer. I mean who can resist frozen cookie dough. Ugh not me. I need to keep from getting too hungry cause that is when I get mentally weak and start to cave. Today is a new day. I am AGAIN committing to eating clean and chugging water like its my job. I'm going to take it one Sunday at a time. Only 3 more to go. 3....I can do 3! I am already half way through today and feeling awesome. Thanks for joining me on this journey. Here's to a healthy, happy life.