Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Letting Beauty Speak
How do you define beauty? I get a lot of crap daily on the fact that I Crossfit too much. That I look bulky. That if I am not careful guys will not be attracted to me. This video describes my feelings exactly. Strength is beauty.
I write..
I write for me. I write for an outlet from the world. I usually write when the tears fall freely or my cheeks sting from smiling. I write to remind myself that I am not alone and it's Ok to let it out. Keeping my thoughts or emotions bottled up is unhealthy. Especially for an emotional, stress case like myself. ;) I FEEl so much. I feel so deeply. I have so much passion inside of me that sometimes I feel like I might explode. ITS TOO MUCH! haha
But this is why I write. So that maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at how dramatic I was. And that for maybe a few minutes letting it out will allow me to breathe again.
I have a constant battle with growing up and being an adult. When I was younger I was so mature and LOVED being with the adults. I never wanted to be a kid. I wanted to be old and to date and to be a mom and to drive and to have a real job.
Who was I kidding?!?!? If only someone would have warned me. haha
I crave the days when play dates, night games, and mid day naps were my biggest worries. Life is so different than I thought it would be. I am reminded everyday that it is not MY plan but HIS and not on MY time but HIS. I struggle not being in control, not knowing, and not having all the answers. I struggle with finding joy in the journey and not having a pity party every day because things aren't the way I thought they would be. I am learning though. I am trying my best to work on the things I CAN control. All we can do is our best. Daily I have to remind myself to focus on someone else and worry less about me. When we get lost in serving others good things will come. Life is truly a test... I was never good at testing or school for that matter but I am trying.
xoxo
But this is why I write. So that maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at how dramatic I was. And that for maybe a few minutes letting it out will allow me to breathe again.
I have a constant battle with growing up and being an adult. When I was younger I was so mature and LOVED being with the adults. I never wanted to be a kid. I wanted to be old and to date and to be a mom and to drive and to have a real job.
Who was I kidding?!?!? If only someone would have warned me. haha
I crave the days when play dates, night games, and mid day naps were my biggest worries. Life is so different than I thought it would be. I am reminded everyday that it is not MY plan but HIS and not on MY time but HIS. I struggle not being in control, not knowing, and not having all the answers. I struggle with finding joy in the journey and not having a pity party every day because things aren't the way I thought they would be. I am learning though. I am trying my best to work on the things I CAN control. All we can do is our best. Daily I have to remind myself to focus on someone else and worry less about me. When we get lost in serving others good things will come. Life is truly a test... I was never good at testing or school for that matter but I am trying.
xoxo
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