16 year old self

It has been months..... I feel like posting but I don't even know where to begin. I use this blog as a journal and clearly I have never been much of a Journal keeper. Lets see if I can work on that.
Life really is such a ride. So many emotions and life events in such a short amount of time. Always nothing like you expect or pictured it to be like. I love it. Every day is a new day and a new adventure good or bad! In the last few months I have learned so much about myself. Growing up is such a weird concept for me. Most days I feel like I never change. I'm just little old Stacey as my 12yr old self. Eek 12 was an awkward stage lets go with maybe my 16 year old self?.... Anyways it's crazy to sit back and reflect on how different I am these days. Seeing as I am 23 now.....at least I hope I am different ;)
Things in life that mattered before don't matter so much. I find joy in the little things. I appreciate moments or songs or photos differently than I did before.  I am proud of myself and my accomplishments in life thus far. I also have things about myself that I am constantly working on. I have goals and dreams that continue to change daily. I have found that I love big and also that heart break hurts. But feeling those feelings have made me appreciate life and love in a different kind of light. I am doing my best everyday to live in the now. I have always been a "can't wait until"... or "one day when"..... or "things will definitely be better when"...
But honestly life is good NOW. I should be grateful for the beautiful things and more importantly people who are right in front of me! Life is good and crazy and fun and hard and weird and annoying and lovely ALL at the same time. One thing I do know is that family stays the same and is always there and always supporting you NO MATTER WHAT.
 I sure do love my family and wouldn't want to be on this ride with anyone else.

...a simple sunday rant

Sometimes I wonder how I found dance. Or maybe a better question is how dance found me. I'm not talking about the beginning tap and ballet classes my mom put me in as a 4 yr old but the part of dance that completely consumes me. The part that has genuinely made me the person I am today. How did I get so lucky to find something that fulfills me like nothing else can. Being a dancer is who I am. I don't know any different and I wouldn't change it for the world. Dance allows me to feel and experience things only dancers can understand. Being on stage brings me so much happiness and being in a studio feels like home. I love the challenges physically, mentally, and most of all artistically that come with the journey of being a dancer. I love to learn new styles of movement and to be pushed to places I have never been. I love the opportunities and doors that have been opened in my life because I chose to dance. My path as a kid was different than most but it was mine and thats what makes it so special. I love my parents for supporting me no matter what and for always being my #1 fans. I love the people that path has brought into my life and the people I get to share the stage with. Those people are my family. Every dancer is different and unique but we all share the same passion and that is why we just get each other. 

"It takes an athlete to dance but an artist to be a dancer."

"To dance is to be out of yourself.

 Larger, more beautiful, more powerful." - Agnes De Mille

"Dance enables you to find yourself and

 lose yourself at the same time ."

 ....There is only one of you in the world,

just one, and if that is not fulfilled then something

has been lost. Ambition is not enough; necessity is everything.

- Martha Graham "I am a dancer" 

"I see dance being used as communication 

between body and soul, to express what is

 too deep to find for words."- Ruth St. Denis

xoxo - a girl in the city 

ODT European tour 2013

I just spent the last 3 weeks traveling through Europe on a bus, doing what I love with some of my best friends . Rough Life ;)
I'm so grateful for the experiences we had and for the memories I made. I love that talented group of dancers more than I can explain. They took me in and treated me like family right from the beginning. I made some new friendships that will last forever and got to spend some much needed time with old dance friends. Here is a glimpse into some of our European adventures:

 

Koln Germany

Monte Krew

Istanbul Turkey

The wishing hole! 

The Blue Mosque 

Hagia Sophia Museum 

Bus ride Riff-offs 

Turkish Today Show

The Grand Bazaar

 Thank you for sparking my love for dance all over again. I sure love my ODT family. 

A slice of humble pie.

I'm laying here in my bed icing my hip after my first week back on Odyssey. All I can say is WOAH what a talented, hilarious, awesome group of people. And double WOAH to being extremely out of dance shape. My body hurts. I haven't really pointed my toes, done my splits or had a full week of class in about 5 years. No joke. I was humbled to say the least. This group of artists pushes me everyday and I kinda love it. I am grateful to be dancing full time again even if that means I have to wake up at 7am to do so. Thats a little early for my vegas dancing hips, back and feet. All of which are still asleep and very sore and tired! Maybe I should have taken my show warm up a little more seriously the past 4 yrs. Oops! Make sure you come check out our spring shows "Shut up and dance" starting in March! I'm off to take my daily nap. Can't function without it these days!

6+2

You guys.....I quit. I threw in the towel. I gave up. I text my group telling them I was done. I had gone 6 clean days and 2 cheat days. I know this sounds dramatic but honestly I have never been so tested mentally than I have this past week. I really love food and it was like someone taking away that favorite thing from you as a kid. ugh
But then I went to crossfit last night and had a rude awakening. Along with the guilt trip and peer pressure from Ben who was rooting for me....I had NO energy. I was definitely feeling those cheat days. Basically I had a pity party for myself the whole workout and then my guilt really set it. Who was I to quit. You can't just quit. You committed to this and you have a whole group counting on you. I need to stop feeling bad for myself for not being able to put all that garbage in my body. Instead I should be thanking and congratulating myself for the clean foods I am fueling my body with. It's time that I have a complete attitude change and a full commitment to this thing. I know I am a week late but it took a week of hell for me to realize that this is for real and most definitely a "challenge". I don't want to be my teams weak link. It is 3 solid weeks of clean eating. I can do that. It will be hard no doubt but I want this and truly our bodies are the most important gift we have been given. For the next few weeks I am just going to have to suck it up and be "that girl". "Excuse me sir what do you cook your meat in?" "Can I have no dressing or cheese or well anything on that salad please?"....you know "that girl".  I will say I was shocked at how badly my body craved bad food. Almost to the point of tears and feeling like I had to have it or I might die. It felt like a bad addiction that I couldn't break. You'd think I ate cheetos and doughnuts on the regular with how bad I was craving them!
 I wasn't prepared enough last week with being out of town and having the right foods available for me so that I was still getting the proper calorie intake. This has been a day by day learning experience. I think I am finally grasping what it takes. A whole lot of WILLpower. It is financially a lot harder to eat this way and all the more tempting to eat moms free dinner at home. It's also hard living with a head pastry chef who has fresh cookies on the counter and dough in the freezer. I mean who can resist frozen cookie dough. Ugh not me. I need to keep from getting too hungry cause that is when I get mentally weak and start to cave. Today is a new day. I am AGAIN committing to eating clean and chugging water like its my job. I'm going to take it one Sunday at a time. Only 3 more to go. 3....I can do 3! I am already half way through today and feeling awesome. Thanks for joining me on this journey. Here's to a healthy, happy life.

Preparation is key.

I've been in the kitchen and on my computer all day googling recipes and cooking up a storm. If I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do it right. I planned out my whole weeks worth of meals. Week one is going to be tough especially since I'll be in Vegas working not having the comfort of my own pantry. Wish me luck! 

a WHOLE new me.

Originally I planned to start 2013 off with a personalized 30 day challenge. It consisted of a few personal and religious goals, a few physical goals, and a few adjustments to my eating habits such as NO soda, No fast food and No fried food. Well as of Monday January 14th this challenge is about to have a WHOLE new meaning. I have officially signed up for the Crossfit Whole 30 +12 days -Team Challenge. Or some may call it... officially loosing my mind. I am herby announcing this mid-life crisis on my blog so that all of you along with my team can hold me accountable. I have never been one to make drastic changes in my eating or try intense dieting. I believe in making healthy choices and portion control. The fact is I like food... well love is probably the more accurate word. I really LOVE food and I love trying new flavors. One of my favorite things is to enjoy a good quality meal with good company. The problem is how often is that food really good for us. Am I really giving my body that same party that happens in my mouth while I am enjoying that processed, greasy, sugar filled food. Sadly no. But I am excited to be starting off this year with a challenge and new experience of enjoying real, naturally grown, nutrient dense food with lots of vitamins and minerals. Now THAT sounds like a party;). This is most definitely going to be a challenge. I am quite positive I have never completed something this extreme and I am determined to prove to myself that "I" can do anything for 30 days. Especially something that will jump start my body into a healthier happier 2013!

{ This is not hard. It's only thirty days, and it's for the most important health cause on earth-the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.} - The Whole30 team

You're my person.

So there's this girl. Naturally we've been besties since birth. Mostly because our moms are sisters but the older we got the closer we grew. She knows me best and I know her. I tell her everything and she tells me well....most. (just kidding) We just 'get' eachother. We are always honest, sometimes to a fault but always have each others best interest at heart. I am pretty sure I can't finish a text, go on a date, do my nails (well have her do them), get my hair done, buy a new pair of shoes or do anything creative on the computer without her or her approval. I love it. I love her. And I couldn't live without her. She's my PERSON and I wouldn't want it any other way. I love you Bryn Bateman!

Sorry for the language..it's too good and not to share!